My Son Luca Is Eighteen

 

Well you want to say
      don't

drive
drink
skate
grow up
move away

But at eighteen

things are out of my control
spinning

so
have a good birthday
son



What is it to be a man?

licenses
responsibilities
jobs
direction
shedding shedding tears
soldiering
protecting
sports
girls

condoms
it's a lot of things
that this momma forgot
to tell you about

 
 My Son

Eighteen years ago
my water broke in a bathroom shower
But you weren't ready quite yet
The next day you were delivered from distress
Like Caesar the doctor said umbilical cord wrapped
Around your neck
Around and around
Depriving you of oxygen
I watched the heart rate monitor go to nothing in contractions.


When we came home
This luv of a baby kept
My mom and I suspended in time
With his two sisters he had four women
For years that were even willing
To speak for him
We were the masters of interpreting
the Lucster.

Luca threw the ball against the wall
Catching it in his glove
From 9 months on
Right over my head on the couch
A hardball!
A master of physical nuances
Cracked a baby tooth throwing his head forward once
I cried all night over that
Ate a Christmas bulb
On the worst day of my life

Played Tball and hockey,
Football, baseball,  coached by his dad
Skated, rollerbladed, knocked
Around oblivious to injury
Making baskets
Gathering friends
The boy he was, that held my hand
quietly through cancer

We went to Angel's games
Celebrated champions
Lost gracefully
Ate our cookies, made our art
Enjoyed our holidays,
loved doughnuts,
Honeybuns and sausages.

Wore the Green Bay jersey
Until it fell from his shoulders
Brett Farve disintegrating
From daily use,
Briefly sported Harry Potter glasses
Laughed with Pepe
Acted in plays
The biggest baddest sweetest wolf in town


Called poppa Black Pete
The Principal Pirate and cried
To a kinder class that Daddy was
Drinking beer in Red Ribbon Week
And his parents were doomed
Because you felt it so strongly
Missing that this was
not intended for a Dad downing
one a month.

If there is a silent observer
In the universe of stars
It sees you treat your grandmother
With a love
That sustained her
And recorded in the book
Of life your love of family.

Your art soared and your skills
Like your Mom's were a gift,
a surprise.
That ability to do something
Before you realize you can't.
 It's wonderful-
You are wonderful.
The combination of two
People that love you dearly.

And always will.

 


Line drives
Ukeleles
Calm
Angular

Vernacular
Elan vitale
Roaming
Night owl
Observer
Nice

Pugnacious
Upper deck
Guitar
Lean
Inscrutable
Skateboarder
In-between

Luca Vernon
at eighteen




You've taught me about vulnerability,
You've taught me about competition,
You've instructed me in patience
Shared your fears.

You've taught me about breaking down a task,
You've taught me about losing
You've instructed me in family
Shouldered my burdens.

You've taught me a few tricks,
You've demonstrated moves for me,
Instructing me in fine points
Polishing my understandings.





Sons

Was it just me
Or do our sons
Remind us
to feel
the importance
of friendships,
praise,
actions
words,
and the
incredible
power
we have
in relationship
one
to
another?



May this day bring you the gift
Of time and the journey
May the day be bright, forward looking
Filled with promise
May your day be greener
Sweeter, more delightful
as we celebrate your
Eighteenth journey around our sun.



Poems by his momma, Sarah Puglisi

self portrait

 art

there was a bush by the side of the house
the branches formed a feline spine
dried fuzzy balls filled the form
of a last minute art project
that became a grade sitting somewhere
in my hurried hall of make believe

 bikes

for twelve dollars when I was fourteen
my first
Dad didn't notice the frame was for a person over six feet and male
bikes pumped
from a kabuki taken by a boyfriend
to shoes I drew
till I was told I couldn't ride ever again
 

 crosses

I've born some
lifted a few
hung a couple
worn a hopi one
looked at them
sent one to a dying woman
made them
hauled my moms
handed them over
but never
lost mine

 dandelions

wish upon a star
blow a dandelion
lie back on the grass
feel time

 evening

walking home
bitter cold
carrying packages
cigarettes
going up synder
straight up
holding on to thin hope

 felt

a very forgiving fabric
helped me make doves
puppets
silly caterpillars
mobiles
the gift of the magi

grass

this takes a minute-
it grew fast
in our yard
i'd pull on a bathing suit
get the mower out
dream that the tan i got
might attract someone
to our hilltop
in a sweating coal mining state
finding me like a marilyn-
admiring my industry
I'm that naive

 home

must go where you are
because
i don't know where mine really is

illness

sat down
in my frame
choking from me
a scream

job

raw fear

kids

the first baby
was one in a small room
looking red
hollering
wet diapers
come to church
to my short stint
in the baby room

then it was the twos and threes
assigned to sit
taking candies
to the children
my art teachers'
a friends daughters'
until kids
were my days

 

 love

wasn't like the eromance i just finished
with the guy who took in a waif
determined to protect and defend
touching her hand so slightly
coaxing her to soft sheets
it was more the capacity
to give and give up

 memory

there are huge gaps
that sometimes fill like a tide washing in
draggin a world of teeming life
to flounder on my shore

 nudes

whatever god did to adam and eve
he must have dosed me with it
double
because I can only look
at a nude when it's so secret an act
that it's forbidden and shameful-
naked truth

opinions

don't ride motorcycles
take care of the poor
never kill
no guns
avoid using margarine
republicans are horrible
no fresca
sports highlights suck
whole language works
neosporin on cuts
karma bites

poppies

glads, dahlias, snaps, cockscomb
violas, violets, pansies, roses
zinnias, snow on the mountain
lilacs, daffodils, crocus, peonies
marrigolds, sage, petunias, morning glories
larkspur, columbines, dogwoods

 queens

those older women
that loved me
took on a project
folded, starched, whitened, tucked me away deep in a drawer
life started in a  hope chest

 rocks

when you can't buy a souvenir
and you don't know why
you want to carry a time or place along with you
you pick up the rocks
storing them in boxes
your stash of yesterdays

service

from the day you arrive
you are in a position of service

talk

communication
words
thoughts
smoke
signals

 ugly

or beautiful

vaccination

they came into the schools
lines went on for hallways
as you waited
i fainted
treated to the disgust of a woman in white

 woman

my heart
is that
of a woman

xrays
wont find a break
I know is there

yes

perhaps was
given away
far more
than I can
explain

zen

would be
a place
without
and within




this was a quick assignment....think of a word and jot some thoughts about my "self"
I can't find me

The Perigee Moon

A head turned to the moon last night
Bright reflecting, 4 in the morning
This May moon crossed the vast spaces
Those pointing at the brilliant luna
Those who barked out to leave them on their couch
A romantic fell to two poles
One sending her out alone
The other suggesting she learn about those in her life
Either holding cold reminders of her looking alone
Upon the perigee sitting full in her Pacific sky
Reflecting over the waves
Oddly lighting a silent evening
In the eucalyptus grove.

"Learn more about the people that share your world"
Like the child across her town curled in her bed
Who is praying her dad will not shoot her mom,
Over worrying about her leukemia.
Because in her class another family suffered that.
Learn more about the child that sleeps in the park,
Homeless these last three years,
Learn of the fears, the suffering, the things that they face
Because, somehow, she's missed the lessons?
Waiting for the oaf who sent her to bed with a
"Go look at the moon yourself and quit screwing with me"
Learn of that man who
Might one day take some interest and accompany her
To see a moon just for the sake of its beauty?

It's the moon, silly
Not a finger pointing at the moon.
She has long perceived the difference,
It was brilliant last night
When she laid her gentle hand
Upon it's lovely face and wiped away
The tears sluicing down the cheeks
To offer up again her adoration, the velvet night
Caressing both with her vibration
Coming close to whisper into the night's being
The caress of life.

Just be.

e-ku's

Arrival

Garage door opens
Bang, sigh, keys drop, pots water crash
Question falls, silence



Waiting

Typing fingers tap
Doors, cupboards, chop potatoes
Outside wind howls fury



Contained

lemon in blue bowl
still life sits in dining room
rolls across floor from frame




Waking

"Oh my god, NO" shot
Through a dreamscape waterfall
daughter's voice ersatz




11 AM on Saturday

Metal spoon stirring
Breakfast breathes in family
Morning doves nurture




Heliotrope

Light twinkles on leaf
Japanese iris in vase
Spring from memory





Bread

infused ferment alive
yeast rests in lukewarm water
suffering the dough





Patio

seeds swept through spring wind
finches adjust to hold branch
brave chickadee lunches




chisme

chirping inquiry
suggestions out the window
flock hold discussion





Distant mountain snow
Winter wind rushes on plain
Tinkling neighbor's chime






Chili Verde

Pork fat pops brown chunks
Tomatillo's skin blister
Stir, lower heat, wait





Internet Recipe

Tears ran my cheeks wet
Dice fine-return to hot oil
Set aside small portion




A Pair

Feminity

White porcelain tub
Lavender bath salts dissolve
Ritual bath cleanses


Masculinity
Two pills-baby aspirin
Statin, stare across
Broken haiku verse.





Resurrection

telephone rings
Jonquils half awake have no response
Voice flowers lost love




Poem

Active pen moves ink
Thoughts rush imperfectly down
Eyes blink recognition




Wing

Blackbird lands to watch
Cracking sunflower seed wide
Catches sight, red flies




Truth

Faucet turns on, off
Water flows over rounded stones
Step carefully man





"Thunderstorm"

Furious boom crunches
Explodes the eucalyptus
Crashing rain cascades





Transcendence

Fragile our friendship
Confined, imprisoned, denied
Failure to nurture




Awakening

Hummingbird click chip
Chase across the skateboard ramp
Spring dance-mates ollie.




Master Tom

Worn tired masked face
Calmly, flatly says word CLAP
Hammers a sheep's head





My lip was ruby pierced
Tiny exotic seed

Disoriented I woke
Felt with a tongue tip

Looked
Realized it was
Flight of fantasy.

Thanksgiving Prayers

Wayward Daughter

when are you coming home
to family
fresh sheets
some cleaning
(one can hope)
to several boys
that aren't even
biologically related
that I find

to gravy
and all things
you look upon skeptically
home to the
few folks
that you'll spend a lifetime
wondering about,
one who has
her mind

on you