Bronchial Pnoetry
Waiting in a doctors for hours, for days, trying to trick my way home. I started writing. Maybe later I'll write less self-referentially.
On Observation
Word becomes thing.
Picture sits there.
Staring from page.
Captured bird in gilded cage.
Far from branch.
Waywad opheApostr
‘ it’s the’r in places
drivi’ng teahr’ Martha
to write me a letter
edit sh’esh.
Or get another prfessoi’oien,
Boundary
I’m encased in perception
Formed in error, arms, tissues, kisses,
Times riots, palms, bars and books
Rushing sounds of happening
I’m watching
Putting pencil on paper
Finger to key, saying, purging,
Pontificating, touching meaning
On the edge of the ordinary,
As far from there as here.
Reflections
I’m trying to see myself,
In everyone else.
It’s misdirection.
It’s like a lover
Leaving, “It’s not you, it’s me”
It was me.
A mocking silhouette
That has blind eyes
Looking in the mirror.
Pnewmonia
Oxygen kittens are mewing in my chest
Until the barking seals demand attention.
Release one and applaud the other.
Suspended in a struggle for breath.
Hold My Hand
Practice surviving in front of my eyes
Living in a moment in a car
Someone shot someone named Jim
In the conference about your boy.
Ditto off a parenting guide
Offer a DVD on anger management
Look for hope on a shooting star
It’s the conference for your boy.
Let me hold your hand
Offer you a hug and chair
Lift your spirits with eyes that see
This is the conference for our boy.
The Future
She’s so glad for the silly Oreo
I stopped to get “us” by the Coke machine
Feeding my demon, the past.
Pinata
“Who do you love, me or the thought of me” J. Meyer
I can’t entertain just now anything but the thought of me.
You can’t think of me entertaining the thought of you holding a thought of me.
Just the thought of a “me” there needs illusion to sustain and stomach it.
I’m building an inner playhouse to go with the fortress I had built to deal with
The thought of you or me seeing outside of this tissue held mind piñata.
With the bat you are raising to spill the candy over the wall.
Who do I love? In the funhouse the thought of thinking of an us.
Smash.
Cancer
It was after all my sign.
It might have been….
Telling someone else, preferably a stranger
The look in my daughters’ faces
The sound in my son’s throat
Or when you started to ask questions I never thought to ask.
Or Mom thrusting into our space to ask her round of barraging what when where why
Maybe somewhere after I took the breath in the mask, the surgeon standing in the cold freezer sleeveless
I got it.
When you dropped the flowers in my room later with crashing glass and roses busted and fumbling fingers shooting that glass everywhere in the bed.
I got it.
I saw the fear flash over your face and you retreated away.
That’s how it is now.
Safety zones. Because you get it now.
I saw that fly all through our relating, the way of the shards of the broken universe.
If I could turn that fear into a wish
Then we’d fight and rage until it’s all over us.
Running red and engaging in here and now
Not hiding in corners, eyes averted and heart closed.
“No one wants to read poetry by a woman in mid life”
Least of all me.
I read about men and their longings
For girls in their prime meridians
Like chili fries in beer.
I’m looking a globby load of melted cheese
Choking its way around
A pretty stale meatball sub.
Penning poetry about
Godiva with Dom Perignon
Some grease staining the prose.
NebulizeHer
Bubbling gurgles
Breathe in, breath out
Doors open
Close
Gurgling humming machines
Breathe in, breathe out
Smoky voice asks
Where you been girl?
Breathe in, breath out
Gurgling whirling
Dizzy now
Catches me
Breath in, breath out
I ‘ve been around
Hiss and hum
Breathe in, breath out.
Click.
Agendize/ Flow
- Live in the moment.
- Appear planned.
- React
- Structure creatively
- Rest assured
- Assure you rest
- Stay alert
- Be passionate
- Delegate with trust
- Be in the now
- It’s as real as we make it.
- It’s the Real thing
- It’s been real
- Reality, shows
Crunch me (what I did for art)
“You're a carrot, Roz said (my old days art teacher)
Crunchy, bunchy orangy
Healthy, sweet and munchy
Long and smooth” (then)
Held in a hand like a brush
Her carrot, me.
(she said waving her hand in the air and biting)
This guy you like is meat.
Raw.
Tartar
And the Ponderosa rib eye went over her lips.
He was a vegetarian and I ate a lot of filet.
Snack and pack me (I thought)
Dip and candy cook
Butter and honey
Sticky compliment to
His juicy steak.
(I considered dropping the class)
Watching in Urgent Care, Sitting Alone
I think he’s high
I don’t know why
He wants her to stay
Then pushes away
I know he’s high
Mind in the sky
Talking circles and just spun
Wanting, losing, thought, fun
Just tripped on my leg
He’s high
Bringing me down.
He’s bouncing despair.
I’m getting a shot
From someone in thin air.
Orbital.
On Shapes (Made on Cute NotePad)
About a Teaching Training "Personality" Activity
A circle with a dot in the middle is beauty
Cause now it's a sweet belly.
Round and smooth, rubbed for luck.
A square with a dot
Is not. It's uncomfortable
Abnormal. Ill met.
A triangle with it's dot inside
Is nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide.
A rectangle with dot
Is what I've got
Wide load. To hold.
Z
But the z is me.
It's free.
Genesis Of An Idea
You --------------------> Thought of You
Me ----------------------> Thought of Me
This ---------------------> Thought of This
That ---------------------> Thought of That
Real---------------------->Thought of Real
Want---------------------> Thought of Now
Shoes on The Feet In My Life
Wear my shoes
Know me
Put the shoe on the other foot
Show me
Tie my laces, momma
Hold me
Shine my shoes
Serve me
Get my shoes please
Help me
In the shoes of a fisherman
Teach me to walk
Slow Dance
Babe we never danced the slow dance
Babe we never danced in the rain
Babe we never changed
Not even when we fell to pieces.
When They Gave Me the IV
I Thought I’d Throw Up
Ali fought with style
Rhyming
Spinning
Biting, a bee
Floating
My fights
Losing rounds
Head pounding
Heavy
Gasping
My style is Riff less
Inelegant
Lumbering baboon
Drag
Breath
Arm wrapped by tape
Tubes
Cold needles
Alcohol pad
Ready
Swoon and rebound
Punch
Supporting my neck
Hard won
Test.
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